Wednesday 29 April 2015

Poor Pooch

Sam: After breakfast can you play 'Catch the Dog' with me? Because I want you to catch the dog.


Tuesday 28 April 2015

Monday 27 April 2015

Mmmmmmm. Minty.

D: I can taste pain.
Me: You can? I thought you could taste fear. 
D: I can't taste fear, I can taste pain. It tastes salty. 
Me: Does it taste like salty meat?
D: It tastes salty. With a little bit of mint. 

Where does he come up with this shit??!?!

Sunday 26 April 2015

Stuffie

Sam came into our room at 6 a.m. The other morning to let us know that he changed the name of his stuffed puppy to Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. 

Saturday 25 April 2015

Fear

D: I can taste fear. 
Me: Yeah?
D: it tastes salty. 
Me: It does?
D: It tastes like salty meat. 

Monday 20 April 2015

Birthday Party

Sam: I'm gonna invite marble to my birthday cause hers my favourite cat!


Sunday 19 April 2015

Heaven

Sam: I want to die and go to heaven. 
Me: Maybe when you're older. 
Sam: Oh! Maybe you and me and daddy and Daniel can all go to heaven!

I think he over-estimates my character. 


Saturday 18 April 2015

Ultimatum

Sam came into our room early in the morning and wanted a toy he had left on Danny's nightstand. We told him no, and that he needed to go back to bed.

S: Give it to me or I am going to walk away!
Me: Ok. Sounds good. 

He needs to work on this threats.


Friday 17 April 2015

Sore Loser

Danny and Sam were racing.

S: If you win the golden piston cup I'm going to smash it and then it will be mine.

Thursday 16 April 2015

The Zombies Are Coming

Danny started laughing and I asked what was funny.

D: I guess Daniel made listening ears at school. He drew some sort of superhero battle on them. 
Daniel: No! A zombie launched a missile into a building and the other guy's brain exploded and the zombie ate the brain. 


Wednesday 15 April 2015

Meow

Daniel was petting the cat. She was making cat noises.

Daniel: I can't believe I understanded her. It's like I have this cat side of me. I can't believe I know what she says.

Tuesday 14 April 2015

Deep Thoughts 3

Sam: I wish I could grow a mustache out my nose so i could be Luigi.

Monday 13 April 2015

Broccoli Soup

Danny: What would you like to eat? Broccoli soup?
Sam: I gived it up for Lent.
Me: Lent is over, bud.
Sam: I gived it up for Lent.

I'm not sure he gets the concept.

Friday 10 April 2015

Poor Marble

Sam: She's like a tiger.
Me: Yes she is. She's like a small tiger. 
Sam: I want to put a white tiger costume on her!
Me: Um, ok. I'm not really sure she'd like that. 
Danny: White Tiger is a character from Spider-Man. 
Sam: I want to put a White Tiger costume on her. 
Me: I'm still not sure she's going to go for that. 

Tuesday 7 April 2015

Pound it

Sam had advised me that he taught the cat to do a Spider-Man fist bump.


Monday 6 April 2015

Stinker

Sam was sitting in my lap and farted.

Me: What was that??!?!
Sam: I just did some magic. 
Me: What was magic about that?
Sam: I like to giggle. 

Sometimes I wonder if we're both in the same conversation. 


Thursday 2 April 2015

I'm cold just watching him

This is the weather...


And this is my child outside playing with his friends...



They invented a game where they swung the swing at each other and if you got hit you took off an article of clothing. Weirdos. 

Wednesday 1 April 2015

Things I never thought I'd have to say to someone - 2

To Sam: "If you had been listening you never would have had your underwear taken away and ended up in a timeout."