A man with a plan

October 6, 2013:

There was a Johnson & Johnson commercial on...

D: I'm going to buy baby lotion when Millie and me get married. 

Me: Why?

D: Because we're going to have babies. 

Me: Oh. Does Millie know that?

D: What?

Me: That you're going to get married and have babies.

D: No. I'll tell her.

Duh

October 4, 2014:

Randomly, in the middle of lunch...

D: I love auntie Paula.

Me: Me too. Where did that comment come from?

D: My mouth.

Ladies man

October 1, 2014:

When I dropped the boys at school this morning one of Sam's teachers stopped me. I guess yesterday the kids were lined up to wash their hands and the next thing they knew Sam and one of the girls in the class were hugging and sharing a smooch. The teachers had to explain that kissing is just for your family - not your classmates. 

I found him in the schoolyard and I asked him if he kissed a girl at school the day before he said yes. When I asked who it was  he said "I don't know."

After school I picked the kids up from the sitters. I asked Sam if he had been kissing the girls at school again and he said "I'm not going to kiss girls any more. I'm just going to wash my hands."

This Badass!

Terry Fox Run 2014

An oldie but a goodie...

September 24, 2014

Me: What's on your shirt there bud?

D: It's from the terry fox run. I was running for my grandpa because he has a glass eye. 

I wish I knew who I could thank for this.

I did eventually find out that Danny's uncle Norm Slessor has a glass eye (who knew?) and for some reason the story stuck with him!

Ferret, ferret, ferret

Sam was looking for one of his Lego guys in his bed yesterday morning. I told him that he didn't have time - that he should go eat breakfast and I would have a look.

I eventually found it but I also found:

- Spider-Man

- two books

- a yellow paper fish

- a Spider-Man car

- two (different) Lightening McQueen slippers

- a sock

- a toy telescope

- a hoodie for his beaver stuffie

- a battery-operated spider candle

What kind of animal is it that steals and hides shiny things? A ferret? I think that might be Sam's spirit animal. 

Fun Times

 The boys were in bed and Sam started crying...

S: Daniel turned my fun times off! (quite distressed)
Me: What??!?!
S: He turned my fun times off!
Me: What fun times?
S: My fun times!

It took me a minute to figure out that Daniel turned his reading light on and Sam could no longer see the glow-in-the-dark stars on their ceiling because it wasn't dark enough.

The naked truth

We were at Rona on the weekend getting supplies for the boys bunk beds.

While we were there Sam started dancing and grabbing himself - he urgently needed to pee. Because God forbid he let me know BEFORE he is about to pee his pants. 

We found a bathroom quickly, thank god, and I sent both the boys in to go. They hadn't been in long when Daniel started freaking out. Apparently Sam had to go so badly that he lost control of his aim and peed all over Daniel. It was apparently 'the most terrible thing that has ever happened' to him. 

You know you're a mom when you can tell someone who is covered in someone else's pee to get over it. 

Not five minutes later Sam needed to go to the bathroom again - he had to poop. Urgently, of course. We hightail it back to the bathroom and I send Sam in. He was taking FOREVER so I peeked my head in and found this ...

Where is his shirt, you ask? I asked that too.

Apparently sometimes you just need to make yourself really at home in a public bathroom at the local hardware store. At least he still had everything else on. 

I told him to hurry up. And we waited. And waited. So I checked on him again. 

Apparently sometimes you just need to get completely f-ing naked to take a dump in a public bathroom. It's a good thing he's cute because grown ups get arrested for this sh-t. Pun intended. 

Fun and Games

Let's play 'what's that stain?'

Or not. 

These guys...