Tuesday 31 March 2015

Looking Sweet

S: Can I brush your hair?
Me: No. 
S: How about when I have my bath and I have my pyjamas and pull-up on. Can I brush your hair then?
Me: Why do you want to brush my hair?
S: You'll look sweet. 
Me: Do I look sweet now?
S: No you look crazy. 
Me: But I'll look sweet when you brush my hair?
S: Yup.

Before

After - Sam: You look fancy!

Monday 30 March 2015

By the Power of Greyskull

Daniel told Danny I showed him a picture of an animal being electrocuted. He pictured me showing the kids tortured animals.

When I was actually showing the kids pictures of lightening and this came up.  
Not quite what it sounded like to hear Daniel tell it. 

Sunday 29 March 2015

Flasher

We met with Sam's teacher before Christmas. Apparently one day in class he went to the bathroom, located in the classroom, and when he came out he was naked from the wait down - socks and everything.

That's my boy.

Saturday 28 March 2015

Accidents

This was from a few weeks ago. Gross.

Daniel: I peed my pants today at school. But it was ok. It dried.
Me: Why didn't you go to the bathroom?
Daniel: I put my hand up but no one saw me. 
Me: Next time say "Excuse me. It's an emergency. I need to use the bathroom."
Me: Was it just a little bit?
Daniel: No I saw my chair change colour. But it's ok. It dried. 

Friday 27 March 2015

Four Eyes

Danny picked up Daniel from school on Tuesday.

D: Dad, now girls are attracting me.
Danny: Why?
D: Cuz now I have glasses.

Apparently his teacher told him that now he would 'get the ladies'.

I'm really not sure i know how i feel about this, for many reasons. But at least his self esteem isn't suffering.

Wednesday 25 March 2015

And THIS is why we need a second bathroom...

Daniel has to pee desperately the other day but Sam was in the bathroom having a poop. Daniel was getting more urgent so Danny scooted Sam off the toilet (he was done) and told Daniel to go. Apparently he didn't need to go THAT bad...

Daniel: He didnt flush the toilet!
Danny: Just go pee!
D: I don't want to pee on disgustingness!

Monday 23 March 2015

Slowpoke

Me: Are you getting dressed in there?
Sam: We are. Daniel is the only one being slowpoke. I'm being fast poke. 

Wednesday 11 March 2015

My wee decorator

Sam: Look! I put them there. I put them on my pyjamas first and them I put them there, because I like them.


How did he know I had a burning desire for Spider-Man stickers on my bathroom wall. Which he put there while taking a poop. 

Monday 9 March 2015

Rough Morning

Sam was being difficult this morning.
Out of nowhere Daniel says: "Remember that time you said Sam was going to drive you to violence?"

Specifically, no. But it sounds like something I'd say about Sam. If anything ever happens to that little bastard I'm going to be in big trouble.

Sunday 8 March 2015

Overheard during bath time

These are just snippets of the conversation I overheard as I was getting pjs ready etc.

D: Close you eyes and let me lick your eyelids.

D: You lick my hand and I'll lick your armpit. 
S: Let's lick each other armpits!

S: Can I lick your toes?

D: Stick out your tongue and let me bite it please. 
S: Don't bite it off!

D: Let's lick each other's butts.
S: Yeah, let's lick each other's butts!
D: Can I lick it hard?

That's where I drew the line and pulled the plug, literally and figuratively. 

Friday 6 March 2015

Bill Nye

D: Wanna know a funny way to say Bill Nye?
Me: Sure. 
D: Bill Nye, your mom's a guy. 
Me: Uh huh. Where did you hear that. (Like I needed to ask.)
D: At school. 
Me: Can a mom be a guy?
D: Maybe, if you have two dads. 
Me: Yeah, but that's two dads, not a mom and a dad. 
D: Well you could if you had a dad or a grandpa you call mom. 


I can't argue with that. 

And I'm kind of proud he's starting to integrate all different kinds of families into his thought processes. He has had kids at school tell him it is illegal for two men or women to marry and I'm trying to reinforce that love is what makes a family. 

Thursday 5 March 2015

Germs

The boys came in our room first thing in the morning...

D: Sam and I washed out hands just in case we sneezed in our sleep last night.
Danny, to me: We learned about washing our hands at Beavers last night.
(Daniel tried to climb into bed, touching Danny in the process.)
Danny:You know what helps? Using warm water!!!
D: Maybe the germs are like brrr, I gotta get out of here!

 

Wednesday 4 March 2015

Boogers

S: (Yelling up the stairs) Daniel put boogers on my nose!
Me: Where did he get them from?
S: My nose. 
Me: He got boogers from your nose and wiped them on your nose?
S: Yes!
Me: Did you ask him you stop? 
S: No. 
Me: Why don't you try that?
S: Ok. (Pause). He said yes!

Monday 2 March 2015

Play Date

The boys had a play date last weekend with one of the neighbourhood kids. Overheard during play:
---
C: The horse will die.
D: It's a useless horse anyways.
I don't think we have a horse toy and I have no idea what they were talking about but he was fairly nonchalant about writing the poor beast off. 
---
S: I can't do it, C. 
C: That's ok. You just don't get to play with it. 
C brought a transformer with him and Sam was trying to figure it out. At first I thought he was going to help Sam, but not so much. I had to figure the damn think out myself. 

They had an absolute blast and we'll have to do it again but kids are frigging strange. 


Felt up

Me: Are you rubbing my boob?
Daniel: No. I'm rubbing your shirt that's on top of your breasts.