Friday 30 January 2015

Captain America

I will often put letters on the boys drinks so we can tell them apart (we dose Sam's drinks with meds that he needs to take daily). Sam was pretending to be Captain America.

Sam: Can you please put A on it?
Me: For Captain America?
Sam: No, for Sam. Captain America starts with C. 
Me: Sam doesn't start with A. 
Sam: It starts with A after the S. 
Me: Yes it does. 

I wanted to tell him Captain America starts with A after the C but I didn't think it would do much good.


Me: Can I take a picture of your face or just the shield?
Sam: Just the shield. 

Thursday 29 January 2015

Button

Sam woke up at 3 am last week crying. I went into his room.

Me: What's wrong?
Sam: I need a button, mommy. 
Me: What?
Sam: I need a button for my pajama shirt. (He was wearing a stretchy cotton pullover with no buttons.)
Me: Well we can't do that right now.
Sam: Will you cuddle with me?
Me: Fine, but just for a few minutes. 

And that is how I, once again, got conned into snuggling in the middle of the night. 

Tuesday 27 January 2015

Sunday 25 January 2015

Toilet trouble

We had just got out of the pool and were about to get changed when Daniel had to go pee, so he ran off to the bathroom. When he got back he couldn't get his swimsuit off. Danny had let him wear a ridiculously small swimsuit, size 12-18 months. I'm surprised he could even get it on. Once it was wet he couldn't get it off. I asked him how he got it off to go pee.

D: Sometimes, when I wait too long to go, it kind of runs down my leg and I have to hold my foot up over the toilet to get it in.

I asked him to show me how he did it. This is the world I live in. 

Daniels plans for the future terrify me.

http://youtu.be/Mer-ngZQSZw

My children give me far too much material for this blog!



Daniel came in from outside with a sore lip today. 

D: I accidentally put some cold metal on the inside of my lip.
Me: Why?
D: I don't know
Me: What was it?
D: Your little garden shovel.

He proceeded to ask me tell his uncles and grandma what happened (his lip was too sore to talk but not to sore to ask me to tell them) and mumble and/or use "sign language" off and on for most of the morning. 

Saturday 24 January 2015

Friday 23 January 2015

A knife

Sam: What's that?
Danny: A knife. 
Sam: What's it for?
Daniel: To cut things with. Like little boys who don't listen. 

Sunday 18 January 2015

Sisters

We have a Cobb family picture hanging up at our house. Daniel pointed two people out to me. 

D: They look exactly like each other except one of them is nana and one of them is not. 
Me: Do you know who that is?
D: Who?
Me: That's nana's sister, Susan. 
D: Cool, twins!
Me: They're not twins bud. 
D: They are twins if they look exactly alike. 
Me: That's not what makes them twins. They're twins if they grow in their moms belly at the same time. 
D: Oh. 

Saturday 17 January 2015

Merry Christmas

I've been saving this one. Dec 21 I was doing a mad dash to clean the house while Danny went to the airport to pick up Danna, Chris and Jen. I don't know why I even bother because with 7 people in our 1100 sq ft house at Christmas with luggage and presents and air mattresses everywhere our house is pretty much a disaster. 

While I was cleaning Sam came over to me and told me that he pooped his pants. I've been toying with the idea of having him clean himself up after an accident for quite some time now. Looking back, this was the wrong time to try something new. I told him to go up to the bathroom and get started cleaning up the poop and I would be up in a few minutes. 

I got up there and there was a huge pile of poop on the floor in front of the toilet. He had obviously only had a small accident in his pants and had (for some godforsaken reason) gone upstairs and taken a giant shit on the floor. 

I'm stupid and figured, in for a penny in for a pound, so I told him he needed to clean it up. Unfortunately that meant him using a wipe to rub the pile of poop, spreading it out and getting shit on literally everything in the bathroom. 20 minutes before our company was arriving. I talked him through the cleanup and did the final wipe down myself, to make sure nothing was missed. 

I finished just as Danny pulled in the driveway, thank god. Of course we spent Christmas barfing and blowing our noses, but that's another nightmare altogether. It's a good thing we like each other. 

Lunch

Daniel was eating chicken fingers...

D: How do they make meat with no animals? 
Me: They can't. 
D: But how do they make meat with no animals? 
Me: They can't. 
D: Is this meat?
Me: Yes. 
Daniel: DO CHICKENS HAVE FINGERS??!?!?

Thursday 15 January 2015

Deep Thoughts by Daniel Slessor

Daniel crawled into bed with me just after 7 this morning. A few minutes later he thought he heard Sam getting up. 

D: I think I hear sir-stinky-pants. I should pretend to be asleep so he doesn't try to fart on me. 

Inquiring minds want to know

D: Mom?
Me: Yeah? 
D: Is it safe for a raccoon to have a gun?

Friday 9 January 2015

Rules

The wisdom of a six year old:

"There's only going to be three rules when I grow up. Don't run away. Never puke on anybody. And the grownup is always in charge. 

Also, never hit anyone's privates - that's an important one. And also, never roughhouse unless someone is there to watch you - someone could bonk their head."

That's all folks!

We were in the car with music on:

D: I just realized something.
Me: What's that?
D: This (the music) is woody woodpecker. 
Me: It is?
D: It sounds like him. 


We were listening to Edith Piaf, a French singer from the 30s. 



Thursday 8 January 2015

He did WHAT??!?!!

Sam stuck his tongue on a metal post on the way home from school today. When he got stuck he just tore it off, leaving the top layer of skin behind. I tried to get a pic but he won't stand still. Will try again later. So gross. 

Speaking of gross, I have another poop story I'll get to soon. 

Update: His tongue feels funny so he has been walking around the house with his mouth open and his tongue sticking out, drooling on everything.