My Shoe-per Kid

Sam wore his Crocs in the tub last night. 

He wore his socks and shoes to bed tonight. Nothing else.

I'm Raising a Smartass

We were driving and saw a sign advertising a "Classy Trunk Sale".

Danny: I have no idea what a classy trunk sale is.

Daniel: Probably a trunk sale that's classy. 

Sassy Monkey

Me: Sam, why did you bring three mailbags home from school? One of them isn't even yours. 

Sam: Mom, you should mind your own beeswax. 

Me: Your beeswax IS my beeswax. Go eat breakfast!

Dirty Digits

Me: Did you wash your hands?

S: No. 

Me: You put your finger in your bum, you need to wash your hands. 

S: I got it off with the wipe. 

Me: Go wash your hands with soap and water.